Diamond in the rough

Thanks to the Coronavirus, now I spend most of my time inside, I don’t have any better thing to do than to sit on my ass and work on my stuff. It’s kinda nice, also kinda sucks because after all the heartache and all the whining, I finally met someone not long ago who I’m starting to get pretty excited about, but I’ll get to that in a bit.

Before any of that. First of all. What the fuck is going on in the world??? Australia’s bushfires? Kobe Bryant’s helicopter crashes? And now a global pandemic?? It’s not even April yet. What the fuck?? It’s like bad news after bad news. Is it worth planning the future anymore? Are we gonna make it to 2021?? I’m a little bit joking and a little bit serious at the same time. One thing for sure, this is one of a crazy year.

In the UK as of today (23rd of March), we are not under quarantine by the government just yet, but people who can (including me) work from home, and all social places (bars, restaurants etc) are closed. People who are from the country going home to spend this crazy time with friends and family so that they can isolate together.

I feel like the world is quite divided right now. Or at least from my experience. There are people who are absolutely terrified of the virus and wouldn’t step outside. And there are the ones who think it’s overhyped by the media and it’s not that big of a deal and keep on living their lives as usual. These two groups judge every move and decision of each other. The “scared” ones think that “laid back” ones are irresponsible, and the “laid back” ones think that the ”scared” ones are paranoid. At this moment of time, I feel like I’m trying to be in between. I don’t want to freak out too much, and be terrified for my life every day, but I’m definitely not living my life like I used to either. Even-though I did get some criticism for leaving my house.

Yes, I did go to a bar where I had a drink with this guy that I’m gonna tell you about later, and 2 days later I met him again, and we went to a park together. Can you deal with it? I was gonna meet some other friends as well but we cancelled. Now he is the only person I keep in touch with physically, and me personally I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I mean if towers of people queuing for hours in front of the grocery stores inches away from each other is ok, then me seeing one person who’s been feeling fine, is not going to make that big of a difference in my opinion.

…One day later…

Now I’m continuing this blog a day later and from today we are in lockdown by the government. No going out unless you have a reason. (I literally just got a text message from the government saying “you must stay home.”) So from now on, I’m not gonna be able to see anybody for God knows how long. It’s fine. This whole quarantine thing sucks, especially now that the weather is starting to be nice again, but at the same time, I like that we’re slowing down a little bit. We’re always running, and planning the next thing. Now families who stay together will spend some quality time together. I won’t have an excuse not to work on my projects.

It sucks that I’m all alone, but still, I can’t complain about too much really. I have fun hobbies. Now long lost friends are contacting me again and we’re getting back in touch via the internet. THANK GOD FOR THE INTERNET! I don’t know what I would do without it. Despite all the differences in the mindset of people, I also feel a sense of oneness. I keep seeing “we’re in this together”, “we can beat this”. I like that. An other “good” think about this pandemic. No matter who you speak to, you immediately have a topic to talk about. No more “Hey, how’s it going?” Now if I get a message it’s straight up “Hey, how are you holding up?” and the conversation goes from there.

One thing that’s pretty scary about this situation - and for me it’s probably more scary that the virus itself - is how people are reacting to it. Shops are clearing out. No more toilet paper (which is just ridiculous but still fine because if I run out I can just wash my ass in the sink, it doesn’t bother me) but now stuff like bread, dairy products are clearing out too. Everyone is stocking up for years seems like. “I have to make sure that I am ok. That I am not gonna starve to death” is the attitude that I’m getting from people. It pisses me off, because now the people that initially weren’t freaking out are now panicking too and buying up everything too, which makes everything worse!! Why people?? Why though??? Arggggg….I know my blogs won’t change anything, but still guys, can you just not??? If people could keep their cool and stop stocking up for 30 years the shops would still be filled and noone would have a reason to panic. If we can shame people for seeing friends after “social distancing” then why are people getting away with acting like animals in the shops? This is just pure madness and selfishness. Argggg….pisses me off so much!!!

Anyway..I wanna think about something happier now, so let me tell you a little bit about this guy that I was talking about because he gets me pretty excited. 😛

As this whole coronavirus thing started unfolding itself in the UK, I knew my social life is about to die out, so I became more and more active on dating apps. You see where I’m going? 😆 Yes, I found this guy on the app called Hinge. - He’s English and a captain in the army, so I’m gonna call him Mr. Captain. - After we matched, we started texting each other and I really liked him, so I gave him my number. Then we had a video chat and we were talking for almost 2 hours. During that call, we agreed that we wanna meet in person so 2 days later, literally hours just before all the bars shut down, we went for a drink. This was last week Friday on the 20th of March. Normally I would have suggested to meet up somewhere in a city, and then we both would have gone home after the date, but due to the current special circumstances, I suggested to go to my local pub for a drink (so I can check him out first) then, if we still vibe in person, he can come over to mine. We planned on baking brownies, and then watch a movie. He was so sweet. He went to get all the ingredients for our brownies and he had to go to 6 different shops to get everything, but he did it! After he told me what a hassle it was, I was thinking to myself: “oh shit, even if I don’t like him in person, I can’t not let him come over after this”, but luckily I had a great time in the bar, so it wasn’t a problem.

After the drink he came over, we baked our brownies, I popped some popcorn then headed to my bedroom to pick a movie. First we just laid next to each other, but as the movie went on, he put his arm around me, so I scooched over and put my head on his chest. He was gonna go home after the movie but it felt so nice to have him to cuddle me, that I offered him to stay for the night. Let’s just say, I didn’t have to beg him to stay. 😄 It was a sweet moment for me as I haven’t felt this comfortable and close to somebody since Swimmers and I broke up. It was also one of the first times I wasn’t comparing someone to my ex. I was glad it was Captain and I was glad he was there with me.

When the movie ended he turned to me and kissed me. I kissed him back, and things got pretty heated pretty quickly, but I had to cool him down. Not because I wanted to, but because I just got my period that morning and I didn’t wanna turn my bed into a murder scene. It was an unfortunate situation, because I haven’t had any action since the breakup (which was back in November) so yeah, I was really turned on, but I figured at least it’s now something we both can look forward to. So instead having sex, I offered him to change me into my pyjamas. I give him a C on the task because he only completed half of it. He managed to get me out of my clothes but forgot to put my pyjamas on. 😄 But after-all it was nice to have a hand with all those clothes. They can get really tricky with all the zippers and buttons you know. So I returned the favour and helped him to get undressed as well. Again, as I mentioned before, he’s in the army, so you can imagine how fit he is. OMG!! I’m giggling as I’m recalling the moment. It was hard… to fall asleep next to him 😝 not gonna lie. My brain was swimming in hormones and my ovaries were screaming, but I had to resist the urge. Despite all the temptation, we ended up just cuddling. Anytime he moved I woke up and caught him giving gentle kisses to the back of my head. Ahhhhh….it was soo nice to feel his arms around me. I felt so tiny and so protected. When you’re a girl and a man puts his arms around you, it’s just the best feeling ever. It’s so addictive!

I know I just met this guy, but I really like him. When we were thinking what we could do for our first date he said “I’m gonna come up with some options and you choose”. I chose the baking, that’s why we made those brownies. I thought it was really sweet of him to come up with the plan and then get all the ingredients. He might not be very good at putting my pyjamas on, but he’s good at making an effort and that’s what I want to see now. Effort, teamwork and eagerness.

While we were laying in bed he told me: “I really like you. I think you’re fun and sexy and quirky, and I really like that you’re creative in ways I’m not.” I wanted to say something sweet back too, but I was too busy giggling like a little school girl. The next day when we met in the park, he told me that he was worried that coming to see me so soon might come off as too keen, but I shut him down right away and I told him: “It’s actually really nice. Please be keen. I like keen.”

This morning we were messaging each talking about the lockdown, and he sent a text saying: “It’s sooo typical! Just when I meet someone who I would kill to spend time with, the government goes and bans everything.” What? He would kill to spend time with me?? Awwwww… 😍See? This is the energy I need now. Make me feel wanted. Make me feel needed. Make me feel special and I promise I’m gonna make you feel the same way.

So yeah, I’ve been in a good mood lately. I’m excited to hang out with Captain again, once this craziness is over and see if this little thing that we’ve started will go somewhere. I’m trying not to get ahead of myself too much, but I’m being hopeful.

Hope you guys are safe and healthy,

Talk to you soon! Love ya! ❤️