The story
Here's a little history on how I got into photo-manipulation. I was about 5 years old when I saw a computer for the first time. The very first software I got to try out was called Paint. Some of you might know what I'm talking about. Those of you who don't, Paint is a very basic drawing program that allows you to draw lines, basic shapes and use some basic colours.
I remember my brothers drawing houses on the screen of this machine, I've never seen before. I was so fascinated, I couldn't wait for my turn. I grabbed the mouse and tried to get the outlines of a house as well. When we got our first computer 5 years later, we did not yet have internet but we did have the program Paint on it, so I started to draw on the computer. I drew my favourite cartoon characters and anything that came to my mind.
As time passed by the software programs became more and more advanced and it allowed me to do more and more. I started to combine drawing with photography. When my cousin came to spend a few weeks with us on one of the summers, I asked her if we could take some pictures that I can edit later.
I never said I was good at it 😅. Only that I was doing it.
Well, a few years later I discovered Photoshop and started to watch tutorials online on how to make the impossible, possible.
The project
It started off with posting all kinds of arty images (photos, drawings, and photo-manipulations). After a while a noticed that you guys liked the ones I'm in the most (I'm flattered). So I started to come up with concepts and ideas that would include me in the photo, and I realised, if it has to be me, I can put my thoughts, my current state of mood along with my relationship with my own self into visual content. I know it sounds a lot like me, me, me meeeee!!! Hey it's meeee! 😁 I get it! But it's a good thing to spend some time to analyse yourself a little bit. Most of the times, we're on autopilot, only reacting to our surroundings. If you turn the autopilot mode off and analyse how and why you feel in a certain way, it helps you a lot to be more self-aware, and step in before a situation spirals out of control.
I wanted to make my account more consistent so when I had enough content, I deleted everything that did not serve the purpose of this section. Talking about sections. If you're coming from my Instagram page (and most likely you are), you probably noticed that I'm not posting these kind of images anymore. It took a while until I convinced myself that changing topics is a good idea, because I was afraid that it would make my work inconsistent. But maybe I can figure out a way to be inconsistently consistent.
Here's the thing. Photoshopping these images started to become a routine, and I absolutely hate routine! I'd like to explore different media. I wanna improve myself as a photographer, fine-artist, makeup artist, videographer, designer, poet and musician. I can't only photo-manipulate. I've tried, but I can't pick only one thing. I have to do all of them, so I'm planning to come up with different sections using different media expanding on different topics. Does that mean that I'm not going to Photoshop in the future anymore? No!! Not at all! I'll definitely get back to it, but it would be silly to only do Photoshop when there's sooo much more I'd like to try, show and talk about. - Now back to our regular programming.
Let me explain
Some people asked when there's another figure in the picture, if it's a ghost or my soul. Well, I believe the viewer has the freedom to interpret artwork the way he or she likes it, but, my intension was to portray my spirit. Any time you see two people, one represents my mind, and the other one represents my spirit.
Look at me
Just so you guys know in some cases - if not most - the picture comes to me first, and then I explain it. That's why your explanation is not any less accurate than mine, but here it is:
This is my very first - I consider - SylviaCreate type of photomanipulation that I did, and inspired me to start my Instagram page.
When this picture popped in my head, I thought it could have a lot of potential positive meaning to it so I had to create it to share it with people. This is what it meant to me at the time:
At the end of the day you are the only one who knows exactly what's going on deep inside. Not even your mother, boyfriend/girlfriend, best friend etc. knows exactly what it's like to be you. So when life brings you down, you need to find your inner best friend who will remind you all the beautiful things in life that you can be happy and thankful for.
Disconnected
When I created this image, I was feeling really low. Long story short, a relationship with a significant other, didn't turn out the way I wanted to, so I was not willing to get out of bed on time or do any artistic project. I didn't spend time with people, I didn't talk about it, I just sat in my room for days and days doing nothing.
I knew my behaviour was letting my spirit down. I felt it. I felt "her" being more and more distant with me. Although she was there to comfort me, I pushed her away. I did it deliberately because I knew she's the source of my feelings, and I didn't want to feel the pain. I pushed her to the point where I was numb.
Then this image popped in my head and I realised, we no longer had a connection. I was just staring at her, but she couldn't even look at me. I knew I made a huge mistake, and that this can't go forever.
I wanted to make it up to her so I decided to create this image. When I sat down and opened Photoshop, I felt an immediate rush of happiness, but I knew it will take a lot more work get her back.
I'm back!
This one is related to the “disconnected” image. This time my soul was present, but my mind was at a different state.
It’s a very interesting relationship between these two. You might be wondering if I’m writing these lines with my mind or my soul? Because it’s either or. And the answer to that, is the same. Either, or. But when these two look at each other, I’m somehow able to look at both of them from an outsider’s perspective that gives me the illusion of a third being that is not even me. I’m crazy I know. Good thing the people around me haven’t noticed it yet because I act like just like everyone else ;) - (except when I don’t)
Back to the image. Time has passed since that failed attempt at that relationship happened, and me getting back to Photoshop, and creative kind of work, had brought my soul back. But my mind (my body) felt neglected. How’s that possible? I don’t eat healthy, don’t sleep enough, I don’t relax. I’m constantly on the edge, and the pressure to perform and produce takes over.
Balanced
It’s crucial for the mind and soul to have a connection and for them to find that fine line where they can balance each other out. I, myself more often out of balance than in, but I keep trying, and the more I practice, the better I become at it. If I somehow manage to turn the inner conversation from argumentative to friendly, I instantly become productive, but I also find time to relax and enjoy the moment.
But there’s more. Are you ready for this?
I personally think that there’s an infinite energy source from the universe that allows you to stay positive, and pushes you to dream big, because it gives you a perspective of a big scale. I also think that our soul is connected to this infinite energy and for our mind to get a glance at it, it has to have a connection with the soul within.
How to build that connection? Spend time with yourself, talk to yourself (I think it’s normal, I do it all the time. If you catch me speaking to myself, I’ll deny it but I totally just did). Do the things you like, set goals, meditate, smoke weed. - I’m just joking about the last one. 😅 No...I mean seriously! Be very careful with substances. Don't seek answers or solutions from them. They're not going to solve any of your problems or answer any of your questions. Don't put yourself in danger. If you wanna try them,...look... you do you, but please be very careful, it's not a game. Even if it's an occasional thing, just use it. Don't abuse it. Learn from my mistake. I, myself have been struggling from panic attacks since that one time, I didn't know when to stop. If you wanna know more about the story, read this blog.
Anyway....back to the image and to cut to the chase, this image represents that connection between the mind and soul, which allows to me connect to that higher source from the universe.
Effect
As you can tell, I very much like this universe topic. I don’t know. I just find it so fascinating, how insignificant our life is on the scale of the universe, yet how incredibly important it becomes when we think about ourselves or the people we know and love.
In this image I’m looking at my reflection in the water, that also has the reflection of the Earth in the background. The “real me” (my mind) that’s about to touch the reflection (my soul) in the water, that will inevitably create a ripple effect. However this effect will not only affect me, but the Earth in the background as well, showing that the way I interact with myself will have an affect on the rest of the world.
Intuition
This one is called “Intuition”. I wanted to put into visual content what it feels like when I listen to my intuition. My mind (body) belongs to my life on Earth and everything that it’s familiar with, including time and space, material goods, physical instincts (I'm hungry, I'm horny, I'm tired, I have to pee etc. - you know what I'm talking about). The mind communicates via languages I can speak. My spirit/soul on the other hand, feels like is not familiar with life on Earth, almost like it’s from a different planet, or could be from any corner of the universe. It doesn’t think in time and space, but in experiences and feelings. In my case it mostly communicates by putting images in my mind that I get extremely excited about, but it may differ for other people.
I think intuition is a message (a sign - like "wave your hand" in the picture) from the soul that the mind picks up on and attempts to understand.
There are messages like “don’t forget to charge the battery for your camera”. (This actually happened to me) I thought to myself “Oh, it doesn’t matter because most likely I’m not gonna use it tomorrow, and if I do, I think it’s charged enough”. So I ended up being lazy pants and didn’t charge it. The next day out of the blue, I had to use it for work and in the middle of the process, the battery started to die, so I was stressing out. “I told you” - my first thought was. I’m just learning to not second guess the ‘everyday guides’, just because it makes my life much easier.
This was an example for a ‘less significant’ type of message, but there are ones that has an effect on my entire life. Like “learn English and move to the States”. Or “get a job in the creative field”, “grow your audience and don’t stop working on your art”, the latest one “start a website and find a way to fund your projects”. Obeying these messages or ignoring them will determine whether I’ll be living a life that is fulfilling, or I will be just hardly getting by.
“I’ve trusted the still, small voice of intuition my entire life. And the only time I’ve made mistakes is when I didn’t listen”
Looks
They say the eyes are the mirror to the soul. In this picture you see in my eyes a figure standing. That figure is my true self. My soul if you will. Someone who represents all my dreams, all my insecurities, my fear, my hopes, my shame, my pride. Someone who concludes me as a being. Someone who's hiding in every single one of us.
The forest is the set where our true self has been put to perform and go through. I like the idea of a forest. It's mysterious and you never know what it holds within. Just like life we all have to go through, so the next time when you look into somebody's eyes, see through the surface and hear them out. Listen to their story and connect with them on a deeper level.
“There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story”
"Success"
This is the last one I wanna talk about on the mind and soul topic. If you made it this far, well...you’re really dedicated, and I appreciate it. 😁❤️
I talked about intuition and why it’s crucial to listen to it. This image shows a scene of a scenario where I didn’t listen, and I ended up on a path which has nothing to do with my passion, and it’s making my spirit unhappy. Familiar?
“The UK is home to millions of discontent workers, it has emerged, as more than half of the nation's employed people admit that they would rather be in a different career”. (Source link)
Wow! More than half? How? To me that just means, more than half of the nation has to learn how to listen to their intuition. Guys, I can’t stress this enough.
Let’s do a little math:
In my case, I started working at the age of 20 and will retire, I don’t know at 60? 65? That’s about 45 years at work. That’s 2340 weeks. Normally I work 8-9 hours a day, 5 days a week. That’s 105.300 hours, which is 4387.5 days, which is roughly 12 years. Meaning if I had to squeeze all the working hours with no sleeping, no commuting, no free time. I’d be working for 12 years straight. Wow! Imagine, working 12 years, non-stop. That’s a lot of time. And for more than half of the nation, it’s pure misery.
Here’s what I think. Productivity is not an option. We have to be productive, in order to produce something (service, product) that other people need and willing to pay for, so that you can afford the things you don’t produce, but you need (food, home, leisure etc.)
In fact, let me take this a little further. Being productive is part of human nature. If I told you, I take care of everything you need to stay alive but you’re not allowed to be productive in any way! Any way AT ALL for the rest of your life, first you might think it’s an exciting idea, but if you let that thought sink, soon you realize, after a week you would wanna kill yourself.
So here are some of my tips on how to be happily productive:
To read more, >click here<
Honourable Mentions
Limits
When I created this image, it was with the intention of presenting visually how my greatest dreams are waiting beyond my comfort zone. Sure, it's comfortable sitting on the couch watching TV all day. Watching people doing things and going to places that I only dream of. I'm staring at the screen and I think to myself. "One day, I will talk to those people. One day I will visit that city. One day I will climb that mountain." However, nothing changes until I do things that pushes me to the limits. Until I do the things that are uncomfortable. That I'm scared of. Like making a website where I put all my thoughts and emotions in front of everyone. :)
This picture is showing how far a little effort can take you. Turning off the screen, getting off of the couch and doing things that align with who you are. Soon you realise, the experience of climbing that mountain is only a step away from your own comfort zone.
Nomore
Alright, I know this one ended up being a little bit bloody, but it perfectly shows how I felt during that period of time, when this image popped in my head.
I had a lot of anger, and pain inside of me that originated from a failed love story. Until this day I don't know why that one got to me so much, but it did, and it was also the final straw. I wanted to start a new page, a new me, so I gathered all the hurt I felt because of my past romances and ripped it out of my chest.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not mad at guys; not even at the ones that I had a thing with. I know they didn't hurt my feelings intentionally. It's just how life is. You try, you fail and it hurts. You heal, you get up again, you fail again, and it hurts again. Hopefully one day you learn what you've been doing wrong and things start to get better. I know I was way too naive in many ways and the guys were as well. I know I'm still naive but at some point I have to learn from my mistakes.
Now back to the point. You know how romance is often represented with an arrow piercing through the heart? In classical mythology, Cupid was the god of erotic love and desire, and being struck by his arrow would fill one with romantic desire for another. With this image I wanted send a message to Cupid that his time is over and I'm no longer playing by his game. From now on, I'm the one who's in charge.
Fly!
I named this one; "Fly!" In this picture you see me plummeting towards Earth, facing my inevitable crash although I have wings to fly with. It's almost like I'm sleeping, not even being aware of the disaster that is about to happen to me.
The wings were intended to represent all the passion, love and beauty that life has stored for us to experience. Things that represent the highs. Things that's worth living for. The body is heavy, therefore it pulls us down, but we don't have to crash. All we need to do is to wake up and use the wings that were given to all of us.
It's all a decision. Start doing the things that make you happy. Surround yourself with people that make you laugh, accept and inspire you. Go to places that you've always wanted to see. Solve issues you truly care about. Grab every opportunity to better yourself and you will fly higher and further than you've ever imagined.
Search
In this one, I'm not one I'm not wearing a bra. Usually women have one boobie bigger than the other. You can actually see how - in my case, - one is smaller than the other. Lol...Each time I start the intro of an image, I'm struggling to figure out how to start. If this doesn't do, I honestly don't know what does.
But for real...this picture has to do with the concept of puzzle pieces. - "Holy sh!t Sylvia! No way! Really?" - Yeah! It's the concept of tiny little pieces completing the big picture. Even if one piece is gone missing, it will make the whole as a unit, incomplete. I tied the idea to relationships.
You know, when you feel everything has fallen into place, but now you just wish, you could share the experience with someone. Here's the thing. We're human and humans need connection in order to function well. That's how we're programmed. That's how we're wired. And although a lot of people can be friends and family, it's crazy how tiny amount of people we're actually compatible with, when it comes to cohabit with someone. When you want to find someone who you're happy to share your living space, your mind, you body and your soul with for the rest of your life. And the crazy part is that to be fully compatible, you both have to have the right pieces for each other. That's why most relationships seem to slip away.
Sometimes you both have the wrong pieces for each other. Often times, you have someone else's piece but the other person has the wrong one for you. Other times, your partner has your matching piece, but no matter how hard you try, you just don't seem to be able to complete your significant other. Sometimes you've got the right shape but the wrong colour, which makes the picture complete but...you can tell that something's off about it.
Some of us settle down with the wrong person. Some of us never find it. The lucky ones find the one of the very few, who's they can complete each other with.
If you haven't find that person. Keep looking. You have, never let them go!
Idea
The idea behind this image was about me exploring in my own mind and entering different rooms that hold different parts of my personality within. When I enter this room I "light up" the child within. The little girl, that loved running free, playing with toys, believed in fairytales and thought that everything is possible. The girl that questioned everything, was hungry for knowledge and had so much to learn about the world that she was born into. She was amazed by everything and got super excited whenever she got to try something new.
That is a part of me that no matter how old I'm going to be, I never want to leave behind. I will keep revisiting this place to remind myself how it felt like to be a child. When people accepted me the way I was and didn't have to fit into anything. When my imagination and creativity wasn't shaped by society and its "expectations". I was just being me.
I always get to have the most fun, when I unleash the child within. Not only that, but that's when I seem to be the most creative as well, because I don't create things for acceptance or performance, but for fun; for the game. And that's how I find true joy in whatever I'm doing again.
Companion
This image was the most liked for a long time on my Instagram page. When I created the picture, my initial intention was to radiate peace and serenity. The image is representing a state of mind of calmness. It's about befriending the voices within.
The lion stands for the self that's brave and strong but can also be dangerous and lethal. The lamb is weak and fragile, but also innocent and loving. I don't know about you, but me personally have times when I feel like a lamb, other times I'm a lion. The key is to accept them both and learn how to live with them. They need to be able to co-exist in the same environment in peace because if there's something they have in common, is that they share one place. My mind.
My main job is to tame my lion enough, that it won't kill my lamb, but not too much that it loses its power.
Never said it's an easy job or that I do it right. However, I wake up and try. Every...Single...Day.